The Stoic Response to Insults

Question

How do the Stoics respond to insults? The question is one of the most practical in the philosophy, because insults are the daily diet of the social world, and the Stoic response — the refusal to be disturbed — is one of the most tested and most effective of the Stoic disciplines.

Quick Answer

The Stoic response to insults rests on the distinction between the impression and the judgment. The insult is an impression: a sound, a sentence, a gesture. Its power over us comes from the judgment we make about it — the judgment that we have been wronged, diminished, or shamed. The judgment is up to us, and it can be examined and refused. Epictetus states the doctrine in its most famous form: "Remember that it is not the one who reviles you or strikes you who insults you, but your judgment that you are insulted." The practice has three moves. First, examine the impression: what exactly was said, and is it true? If it is true, it is not an insult but information. If it is false, it is the speaker's error, not your reality. Second, examine the source: whose judgment is this, and why should it matter? Third, choose the response: the response is up to you, and the dignified response is often no response at all.

Historical Wisdom

The Stoic response to insults was developed and tested over the whole history of the school. Epictetus taught it in the Enchiridion and the Discourses: "If someone speaks badly of you, do not defend yourself, but answer, 'He does not know my other faults, or he would not have mentioned only these.'" Marcus Aurelius practiced it as emperor, where the insults and criticisms were constant, and his counsel is the most quoted of all: "The best revenge is to be unlike him who performed the injury." Seneca developed the therapy in On Anger: the insult is not the injury, the judgment is — and the person who responds to the insult with anger has given the insulter the victory. The tradition's conviction is that the insult is an external, the response is up to us, and the person who cannot be insulted — because they do not assent to the judgment of insult — is free.

Philosophical Perspectives

The Stoic analysis of the insult is the application of the theory of the impressions and the passions. The insult is an impression — a mental representation of words or gestures. The passion — anger, shame, distress — arises when we assent to the impression and add the judgment: "I have been wronged," "I have been diminished," "I must respond." The judgment is the passion's engine, and it is up to us: we can withhold the assent, examine the judgment, and refuse the passion. This is why Epictetus says that the reviler does not insult us — the insult is the judgment, and the judgment is ours.

The Stoic practice adds the discipline of the roles and the self. The Stoic knows who they are: their worth is the state of their soul, not the opinions of others. The opinion of the insulter is an indifferent — it does not touch the only thing that matters, the virtue of the soul. And the Stoic knows the source: the insult says more about the insulter than about the insulted. Marcus's counsel — "the best revenge is to be unlike him" — states the deepest principle: the response to the insult is not the retaliation but the demonstration, by one's own conduct, of the difference between the insulter's judgment and the truth.

Lessons From Thinkers

From Epictetus: the insult is the judgment, and the judgment is up to you. From Marcus Aurelius: the best revenge is to be unlike him who performed the injury. From Seneca: the person who is disturbed by the insult has given the insulter the victory. And from the tradition: the dignity of the response is in our power — the Stoic answers the insult not with anger but with the demonstration of character.

Practical Application

The Stoic practice for insults has a concrete form. When the insult comes, pause — the pause is the space of freedom. Run the examination: what exactly was said, and is it true? If it is true, accept it and correct: the truth is not an insult. If it is false, recognize the error: the judgment is the speaker's, not yours. Examine the source: who is speaking, and why does their opinion matter? Choose the response: the response is up to you — the dignified response, the calm correction, or the silence that is the most powerful reply. And remember the counsel of Marcus: the response that demonstrates the difference between you and the insulter is the only response that cannot be answered. The daily practice makes the Stoic immune to the insult: not the immunity of the thick skin, but the immunity of the correct judgment — the person who cannot be insulted, because they do not assent to the insult.

Quotes

Epictetus states the doctrine: "Remember that it is not the one who reviles you or strikes you who insults you, but your judgment that you are insulted." Marcus Aurelius states the response: "The best revenge is to be unlike him who performed the injury." And Seneca states the therapy: "The person who is disturbed by the insult has given the insulter the victory."

Related Questions

• What Is Stoicism? — the philosophy behind the practice.
• How to Control Anger — the passion the insult provokes.
• What Is the Stoic Dichotomy of Control? — the foundation of the response.
• Stoicism and Emotions — the theory of judgment behind the practice.