Quotation archive
“We should have wife, children, goods, and, above all, health — but we must not bind ourselves to them so strongly that our happiness depends on them.”
Michel de Montaigne · Of Solitude
Quote record
Author
Michel de Montaigne
Source
Of Solitude
Chapter / location
Essays, Book 1, Chapter 39, 1580
Tradition
montaigne · happiness · detachment · stoicism · freedom · essays
Source information
From Of Solitude, Essays, Book 1, Chapter 39, 1580.
Original language: French
Translation
Translated from French into English using a named scholarly edition.
Context
Read the contextual commentary in this archive entry.
Interpretation
Montaigne on happiness and detachment: have wife, children, goods, and health — but do not bind yourself to them so strongly that your happiness depends on them.
Knowledge network
Related Archive Records
Context
Montaigne's Essays inaugurated the modern genre of self-examination, and "Of Solitude" is one of its most personal pieces. Written after the death of his best friend and during years of civil war, it asks how the self can be preserved amid the world's claims.
His answer is not withdrawal. Montaigne continues to serve in public life and to love his family; what he cultivates is a distance of the inner self — a "back shop" of the mind, as he calls it, where the person remains his own even when fortune strikes. The sentence on wife and children states the principle that makes that distance possible.
Significance
The sentence is the clearest popular statement of the Stoic teaching that one should love without enslaving oneself to the beloved. It grants the reality of attachment — Montaigne is not advising indifference — while refusing to let attachment become the whole of identity.
Its modern echo is the finding that resilience depends less on what one has than on the inner structure that can absorb loss. Explore the theme in how to cope with loss, how to be happy alone, and how to deal with change.
Related Learning
- Explore the practice in how to cope with loss and how to be happy alone.
- Read the companion insight in Seneca on tranquility and Marcus Aurelius on happiness.
- Continue with acceptance, solitude, and the Understanding Yourself learning path.
Sources
- Michel de Montaigne, "Of Solitude," in The Complete Essays of Montaigne, trans. Donald M. Frame (Stanford University Press, 1958).
- "Montaigne." Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy. https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/montaigne/
Learning Path
Part of a Structured Collection
Happiness & The Good Life
A structured learning path through the philosophy of happiness and the good life: from Aristotle's eudaimonia and Epicurean tranquility to positive psychology, flow, and the modern science of well-being.
Continue learning path →
Understanding Yourself
A learning path through self-knowledge, identity, wisdom, and practical discernment — from Socrates to modern philosophy.
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Archive references
Sources
- 01Of SolitudeBy Michel de MontaigneMichel de Montaigne, 'Of Solitude,' in The Complete Essays of Montaigne, trans. Donald M. Frame (Stanford: Stanford University Press, 1958).
- 02MontaigneBy Stanford Encyclopedia of PhilosophyConsult source
Source and quality checks completed
Quality check completed 2026-08-09